[Essay] Life Lessons Learned in Dark Souls: Remastered

Knowest thou of that soppy gossip? That this game will drive you fucking crazy but teach you a lot about life?

Hey everybody,

We’re back with the first Q2 edition of the Kablamo Quarterly (which so far this year has lived up to its Quarterly name, but you never know when we’ll throw down some bonus editions). 

As all you T.S. Eliot fans out there know, April is the cruelest month. Life in its infinite temerity reemerges from beneath the snowdrifts and lashing winds and bursts forth in full bloom, determined to swell and swoon and die once more. In the spirit of the season, I’d like to take some time to talk about what I’ve learned from another implacable cycle of death and rebirth: Dark Souls: Remastered (DSR for brevity). Since I received this game as a gift from a dear friend, it’s become by far my most-played single-player title, and in the process of reliving the Chosen Undead’s journey over and over again, I’ve learned a few lessons I’d like to share with you all today. 

Below is a list of my five main characters and some words about what they taught me. Read on, Chosen Undead. I remain here, and await thee. 

Ladycop

-Class: Thief

-Starting Gift: Tiny Being’s Ring (slightly raises your HP, like really, really slightly)

-Soul Level: 91

-Playtime: 99 Hours, 6 Minutes

-What It Taught Me: Character grows best in the deep gaps between knowledge and capability. 

This was my first character and by far my longest playthrough. I was determined to start the game as a Thief because I enjoy being fast and slinky and sneaky in games, and the fact that the thief automatically starts with one of the best items in the game was just a bonus. 

I quickly discovered that I had a natural gift for parrying, a skill where you deflect an incoming blow and land a critical hit (often a one-hit kill) in return. I also had the help of a good friend who’d logged a ton of hours playing this game as my “guy in the chair;” he would watch me play over stream and give me hints and tips to help me along my way. 

With all these advantages at my fingertips, you’d think I could breeze through my first trip around Lordran, but as you can plainly see, I spent the equivalent of 2.5 work weeks slogging through this first playthrough. Even though I knew how to do things like parrying and where to go to avoid certain enemies or find bosses more quickly, I still ended up spending hours retracing my steps and begging the merciful gods above and nameless demons below to help me make it back to where I died and retrieve my XP, only to immediately blunder off a cliff or get body blocked into a corner by a fucking dog once I’d done so. In this cauldron, I learned my first great lesson of DSR: Character grows best in the deep gaps between knowledge and capability.

The fact that I had such clear academic knowledge of how to win this game but couldn’t make my fingers work well enough to do it forced me to approach challenges with both caution and audacity, to explore new areas with both thoroughness and directness, to engage bosses with both tactics and faith. Tempering the benefits of each quality with the benefits of its opposite is the essence of character, and nothing will teach you this like parry-killing ten silver knights in a row only to discover that bringing a low-poise dex build into an Ornstein and Smough fight is like stepping into an MMA ring with your hands trapped in a garbage disposal.

Mista Tibbs

-Class: Cleric

-Starting Gift: Old Witch’s Ring (allows you to talk to a single NPC but realistically does nothing)

-Soul Level: 130

-Playtime: 55 Hours, 31 Minutes

-What It Taught Me: Accepting the wisdom of others can enhance, rather than hamper, discovery.

For my second playthrough, I decided to listen to my guy in the chair, who told me that the time-worn best character build in DSR is a mixture of high strength and high faith. To that end, for my next run, I chose a Cleric class (naturally high faith) and worked on upping their strength as well to wield heavy weapons. I even went with my friend’s recommendation for a primary weapon, the Man-Serpent Greatsword. You’d think that with this kind of input on my build, coupled with the insider knowledge mentioned gained from my first playthrough, this second run would feel almost perfunctory, with nothing new to discover. 

However, my experience was almost exactly the opposite; it was like finding a brand new giant candy room in Willy Wonka’s factory. I spent most of this run discovering new ways to engage enemies, approach map challenges, and screw around with bosses. I knew in a basic sense where to go and how to get there reliably, but the freedom that such a tried-and-true configuration gave me allowed me to realize a thousand different ways I could be creative and do things my own way. Certainly this kind of replayability is a testament to how great a game this is, but the experience itself taught me a valuable lesson too: Accepting the wisdom of others can enhance, rather than hamper, discovery.

As human beings in general, and in our culture especially, we’re often told that the essence of discovery and individuality is in pathfinding, lighting out on your own and going where ye list. However, sometimes being open to the wisdom of those who came before us can give us better and more exciting ways to go about our journeys. Relying on the knowledge and experience of others requires a measure of humility, but it can confer freedoms not otherwise attainable that make it well worth it and can help you to gain new knowledge and experience in turn. 

Thicc Liza

-Class: Warrior

-Starting Gift: Master Key (allows access to some game areas earlier than possible otherwise)

-Soul Level: 95

-Playtime: 24 Hours, 31 Minutes

-What It Taught Me: You can sprint while holding up a shield.

This one’s less applicable to life in general than the other items on this list, but major fucking heads up to anyone reading this who might want to try playing this game for the first time: You can sprint while holding up a shield.

Turns out that’s one of those things that can easily fall through the cracks when you spend your entire first run frantically roll-dodging half naked and your second absorbing sword wounds like an asshole because you start with five extra heals.

This run was a pure strength build where I maxed out the Great Club early on and just stampeded through the whole game bonking people, in case anyone was curious. Didn’t really learn any life lessons worth mentioning that we didn’t all already learn from the meanest kid at kindergarten.

Kream Korn

-Class: Sorcerer

-Starting Gift: Tiny Being’s Ring (see above)

-Soul Level: 91

-Playtime: 29 Hours, 42 Minutes

-What It Taught Me: When you learn nothing new about something, you always still learn something new about yourself.

After a few different playthroughs focused primarily on melee combat, I wanted to try something different and go for a “pure caster” build (someone who primarily-to-exclusively relies on magic), so I made a Sorcerer character for run #4. 

Despite the fact that this was a completely different play style than I’d utilized previously, I didn’t really discover anything new or exciting on this run. The novelty of the difference in engagement wore off after the first couple of hours, and none of the perks and tweaks I found along the way made me enjoy this style any more than my previous characters. 

Once I beat the game with my mage, I could admit that I’d just been going through the motions since around the third boss, that none of the items and spells and buffs I’d found really changed anything or made me enjoy this run any differently than any of the others. Thinking back on what I’d really taken away from this endeavor, I realized this: When you learn nothing new about something, you always still learn something new about yourself.

Sometimes you decide to try something new simply for the novelty of it, and in that process sometimes you discover new passions or drives, new modes of thinking or being. Sometimes, however, you realize something is simply not for you. I didn’t know whether I’d like being a magic man in DSR, and now that I’d given it a try, I found out why: I’m the type of person who enjoys getting their ass kicked a little. Readers familiar with this game are probably thinking: “Yeah, no shit, you’re playing Dark Souls. Next you’ll realize you’re really into pseudo-medieval world-building and filthy, barefooted corpse ladies.” Word, but the game being hard wasn’t the initial appeal to me, and I’m not purely a glutton for punishment. Magic moves aim automatically, blast through shields, hit from afar, they don’t give you that sense of really having gotten your hands dirty. Perhaps because in real life I’m so often terrified of that grit and grind, when I’m playing a game, that’s what I’m drawn to most. Those triumphs over difficult bosses after hours of deaths and arrows and failed cheeses, they remind me of those few precious moments in life where I jumped into something with both feet and came away a winner. This is a form of self-reflection that I may not have reached had I not thought more deeply about an experience from which I had seemingly learned nothing.

Tasty Keith

-Class: Thief

-Starting Gift: Old Witch’s Ring (see above)

-Soul Level: 87

-Playtime: 19 Hours, 57 Minutes

-What It Taught Me: A familiar path walked in new shoes can be just as exciting as a new path in old ones.

My most recent playthrough was fired up due to some unfortunate employment circumstances* that left me with a lot of extra free time to replay video games. I initially saw this as an opportunity to turn my brain off for a little while, like a more active version of rewatching a beloved movie. I made the same type of character as my first playthrough specifically because I didn’t want to learn anything new or engage mentally.

However, a few hours in, I realized that I was actually more engaged and having more fun on this run than perhaps ever before. I came in knowing where the enemies were and how to parry and sneak and dodge like a Thief, but the knowledge of all my previous runs made the familiar ground so much more exciting. My style and steps were the same, but I knew how to make everything I did more effective. I knew what weapons I wanted to max, what order I wanted to tackle zones in, what insane risks I could just barely pull off. After my quickest yet most exhilarating run yet, I came away with this lesson: A familiar path walked in new shoes can be just as exciting as a new path in old ones.

…

After 228.8 hours of Dark Souls: Remastered, I can confidently say that I’ve learned a lot, died a lot, lost a lot, and gained a lot. I don’t know how many hours I’ll eventually log in this game before they wheel the table I’m strapped to into a white padded cell, but this much is certain: I’m a wiser man for having endured the trials of the chosen undead, and if I can ever figure out how to stream on Twitch, maybe I’ll be able to confer some of that wisdom to my dear readers in real time, as long as nobody minds hearing “DRINK THE FUCKING THING!” screamed louder and more often than a Bud Light Limearita focus group. 

*Just to throw a little shameless plug into this post, if anybody knows anyone hiring, especially if they’re hiring for a position that involves writing, I’m professionally single, ready to mingle, and wavy straight out of the can like a Pringle.